mommy22

Try spending some quality bonding time with her without so much as a mention of sex. She needs to know that you value her beyond what she can do for you sexually. Sometimes we women feel like sex objects. We feel like our men don't notice our intellect, creativity, talents, etc... It can make us feel devalued and unimportant in your eyes. We enjoy sex but there's so much emotion tied up in it for us. If we don't feel connected with you on other levels, we withdraw. She probably genuinely wants to share that with you but she wants to share intimacy in a nonsexual way with you as well. Think of something she really enjoys doing and offer to take her out to do it. Is there a movie she's wanted to see?, a sporting event?, a shopping excursion?, simply taking a walk together? Do some digging to find out and then make all the arrangements. Let her know you just want to spend some quality time with her WITHOUT any expectations. Don't come on to her sexually during this outing. Leave it up to her. She may just want to see that you care. We women need constant reassurance, you know? Don't make a mountain out of a molehill with the toy thing. It'll work itself out. If doing things for her still results in her being withdrawn, gently tell her how you feel without being accusatory. Tell her how much you love her and that it's something you want to share with her.