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Old 08-27-2007, 08:55 AM   #4 (permalink)
SageMother
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 166
Default Re: New to this forum and need advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by mariec123 View Post
Hi. It seems like the night for needing advice. I have been married for quite a few years. We have a small child and I am a working Mom. My husband is not satisfied with our sex life and hasn't been for quite some time. He continually asks me what my fantasies are and I can't come up with any or at least any that in line with his. I want intimacy and a loving relationship and he wants different things. He frequents porn sites which totally turns me off. I don't want to drive him away, but feel hopeless.


YOu didn't indicate what turns you off about theporn sites, but In your shoes, I would tell him that his looking at other women makes you feel less attractive or less willing to spend time working up the energy to explore more. I'd tell him that my fantasy is him getting his stimulus from ME and not from what he sees that is all fantasy. I'd tell him this even if it wasn't completely accurate, to take some of the pressure off ME and place it back on his behavior, because that sounds like alot of the problem.

If he was spending as much time as you are working, being concerned with the family and such, he wouldn't have the time to sit at the computer and be constantly stimulated, and THAT is probably alot of the problem..he stays stimulated more than you do.
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