MyTwoCents

LuckyCardinal... Hi there! I want you to know that I only registered on here because of what you wrote and I wanted to write you back! I too, was in a very emotionally and psychologically abuse relationship and I understand how you feel. It was a time in my life that I can't believe happened even after all of these years. I have always been such an incredibly strong and independent woman, so to find myself in that situation was quite shocking. As you know, it's never something that happens right away. It's a gradual process of someone "caring" about you so much that you become completely dependent on them and once that happens its a very bad place to be.

I didn't go to a shelter either because I wasn't able to take my dog and she was the only thing I had to love at that time. That being said, I know what you are saying about shelters not taking women who aren't physically abused but that is not necessarily true.

My ex was very abusive which caused me to have medical issues. I was in the hospital with panic attacks, I developed a terrible case of anorexia. I went to the doctor and asked him to note in my medical records that I was in an abusive household so that I could get outside help. I was gone two days later and never looked back. There are ways you can get help. Make sure that you always clear your browser and cache online. Any phone calls that you make seeking outside help, make from a telephone that he cannot trace. And get the book "Why Does He Do That? (inside the mind of angry and controlling men)" It will give you the knowledge you need to get away from him, the reassurance that you need to know ITS NOT YOU and a safe plan. Get another book that is the same size and change the cover. You're now reading a wonderful romance novel.

As far as him making your life a living hell if you leave him.... well, he's already making it a living hell NOW! They say that to scare you, to manipulate you and to make you stay based on fear. The reality of the situation is that you would be the one with the power to make HIS life an absolute living hell. I know it feels like there is no way out... I used to feel like that too, believe me I understand!!! It feels like there is SO much to do and you could never do it and its overwhelming and crippling. I was in the same place. I'll never forget the day I woke up in my apartment... alone... with my dog. I thought "I can't believe I thought that was going to be so hard!!! That was so easy!!"

Keep your head up... and don't let anyone steal another moment of your beautiful life!!! Feel free to email me if you would like to talk!