Originally Posted by Corpuswife
good for making the point of taking care of your marriage and yourself by getting some help!!
Boundaries: Basically set expectations of what you want and stick by it. It's your choice to what the boundaries will be. You say you do everything around/out of the house. Are you doing the shopping for her...buying beer/cigs/special food? Quit it. Are you washing her clothes? Quit it. Are you bringing her special things (ice cream) when she refuses to do things as a family. Quit it. These are some form of a boundary. Other boundaries may be if you don't quit drinking or get help....I want out! It is up to you and what you want. Perhaps a counselor could help you sort this out.
I got it now. I do need to do that. I have in the past bought Cigs/Beer for her. I am going to stop that. Funny thing is I come from the family in which my dad was the alcoholic. My mom was always afraid it would make us like that. None of us have so far.
Today was an interesting day. She called me from work asking if I picked up the milk. I said yes and she told me she was coming home. Sounded so nice. When she got home she went upstairs to relax and get into her moomoo. Thats what I call it.
Big loose dress type. She came down and we talked a bit on the couch. Low key nothing intense. I asked her how her day was and she did same for me. It was my day off I watched my kids like I do every mon and tue. So then I mentioned the MC. She got upset and said I'm not going to one. I have no need to I don't care. I said well I am going and would like you there. She then said why does it have to get to this point where I am ready to walk out before you make a move. I said two reasons. First of all you only let me knoe here and there with little comments that you are not happy. if you don't make it important I won't think its anything more then your upset. I said two its your responsibility to seek help if I am not geting it before it gets to this point. You are responsible for how people treat you and if you don't correct its your fault for letting it go this long. I got a long pause after that. She didn't have much to say other then say well I guess its all my fault then. (Normal habit of hers to do that.) It's like when I explain about being upset aobut something she is doing she always turns it back on me to hurt me in return. I am unable to say anything that I don't like without getting "well it's cause you did this to me". Drives me up the wall to this day. It's so hard to talk to her and express my feelings without it thrown back at me. I hope the MC can help this. We have lots of work ahead..