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cdm9999 · 05-20-2012, 12:07 PM

Thanks for the advice....to answer some questions and comments:

We have been going to counceling for almost a year and not seemed to change anything.... He is claiming that he wants to see what it would be like to live without me and to decide if he really feels that he wants to be with me or not. I don't know why he feels this way.... we are compatable sexually, although haven't had sex in a while because I feel that he would be using me at this point. We don't have money issues, we have a good life (other than our relationship), no inlaw trouble or any of some of the typical problems. He just isn't "happy" with me. He wants a "soul mate" and someone he can laugh with and be compatible with. I feel it shouldn't break up a family and long time marraige. We have a great community we are involved with and have lots of mutual friends. No one knows about all this going on. Because he is unhappy, he is making me miserable, blameing me for anything that goes wrong, yelling at me if anything goes wrong...i am walking on eggshells wondering when the next outburst will be. I do have to say it has been like this throughout our relationship to some degree, but now is worse and now he is pulling away.

I don't want to break up and would hope we can reconcile, but I don't want to be blinded and make an unwise decision and I don't want to stay being treated so horribly...I also wonder if I am crazy to even want him at this point since he is doing this to me or should I just cut and run because a spouse wouldnt do this to another spouse if there was real love there.....

As far as the future "girlfriend", he claims he would not have women at the house and would only want to see how it would be to not be around me, although I think he would try to meet women. I did say, I don't want to see some girl sitting next to the pool and he said he wouldn't do that.

The main issue: BUT I don't want him here at all once the decision is final about separating /divorcing. Once he/I file for separation, will the courts most likely make him leave? How does that work? That is my main question. Can he stay in that downstairs apartment for years until he makes the decision to move...feels like I have no power in this, or do I? thanks.

05-20-2012, 12:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
cdm9999 Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 80	Re: Need advice.. husband won't leave house Thanks for the advice....to answer some questions and comments: We have been going to counceling for almost a year and not seemed to change anything.... He is claiming that he wants to see what it would be like to live without me and to decide if he really feels that he wants to be with me or not. I don't know why he feels this way.... we are compatable sexually, although haven't had sex in a while because I feel that he would be using me at this point. We don't have money issues, we have a good life (other than our relationship), no inlaw trouble or any of some of the typical problems. He just isn't "happy" with me. He wants a "soul mate" and someone he can laugh with and be compatible with. I feel it shouldn't break up a family and long time marraige. We have a great community we are involved with and have lots of mutual friends. No one knows about all this going on. Because he is unhappy, he is making me miserable, blameing me for anything that goes wrong, yelling at me if anything goes wrong...i am walking on eggshells wondering when the next outburst will be. I do have to say it has been like this throughout our relationship to some degree, but now is worse and now he is pulling away. I don't want to break up and would hope we can reconcile, but I don't want to be blinded and make an unwise decision and I don't want to stay being treated so horribly...I also wonder if I am crazy to even want him at this point since he is doing this to me or should I just cut and run because a spouse wouldnt do this to another spouse if there was real love there..... As far as the future "girlfriend", he claims he would not have women at the house and would only want to see how it would be to not be around me, although I think he would try to meet women. I did say, I don't want to see some girl sitting next to the pool and he said he wouldn't do that. The main issue: BUT I don't want him here at all once the decision is final about separating /divorcing. Once he/I file for separation, will the courts most likely make him leave? How does that work? That is my main question. Can he stay in that downstairs apartment for years until he makes the decision to move...feels like I have no power in this, or do I? thanks.