Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

search · 05-21-2012, 10:32 AM

I have been divorced since '08. My ex is gay. We had two kids together. The fact that he is gay is not as hurtful as the fact that he didn't pay child support, and had to be sent to jail to pay up. He sees the kids once a week.

I now have a wonderful fiance, who moved in with my boys and I in January.

About once a week, or couple of weeks, he gets really moody and angry. I ask him about it, and he says it is because he cant talk to me about my kids...I get that. If he is upset with them, he doesn't feel like he can tell me, because I get upset.

Last night, my kid wanted to stay out until 9PM at a friends house. My fiance said he thought that was too late, and proceeded to have a little temper tantrum...saying that he has no say in their lives, and I don't include him in things about the kids. (but I do!) Then, I went to get my kid early, to appease the situation. When I son walked in, he changed the channel on the TV...My fiance didn't seem to be watching it, but then said "oh, don't worry, I wasn't watching anything" (sarcastically) My kid didn't catch the nuance, and said "ok, thanks!) My fiance said to me, "Well, it would have been nice to have him ask first"...

He said we need counselling. I agree. We have it scheduled for next week.

I don't know how to take all of this. I take it personally. I get really upset, and cry when he is like this.

Other things he has gotten mad at me about...he thought I was checking out another guy at a school function, he thinks I only cook for the kids, and not him (he is a bodybuilder, so only lean meat and veggies), I didn't have sex with him one night because I came to bed too late, and he was asleep...I just don't know what is going to make him mad next. Do you really think it is about me being too sensitive about issues relating to the kids?

He helps me a lot. He loves my family, and really likes visiting my mom, dad, brother, etc...He is very thoughtful most of the time. But these little outbursts are very upsetting to me. I have to walk on eggshells when he is like this...

Is this normal? My ex never did this...

05-21-2012, 10:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
search Registered User Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 5	Need guy advice I have been divorced since '08. My ex is gay. We had two kids together. The fact that he is gay is not as hurtful as the fact that he didn't pay child support, and had to be sent to jail to pay up. He sees the kids once a week. I now have a wonderful fiance, who moved in with my boys and I in January. About once a week, or couple of weeks, he gets really moody and angry. I ask him about it, and he says it is because he cant talk to me about my kids...I get that. If he is upset with them, he doesn't feel like he can tell me, because I get upset. Last night, my kid wanted to stay out until 9PM at a friends house. My fiance said he thought that was too late, and proceeded to have a little temper tantrum...saying that he has no say in their lives, and I don't include him in things about the kids. (but I do!) Then, I went to get my kid early, to appease the situation. When I son walked in, he changed the channel on the TV...My fiance didn't seem to be watching it, but then said "oh, don't worry, I wasn't watching anything" (sarcastically) My kid didn't catch the nuance, and said "ok, thanks!) My fiance said to me, "Well, it would have been nice to have him ask first"... He said we need counselling. I agree. We have it scheduled for next week. I don't know how to take all of this. I take it personally. I get really upset, and cry when he is like this. Other things he has gotten mad at me about...he thought I was checking out another guy at a school function, he thinks I only cook for the kids, and not him (he is a bodybuilder, so only lean meat and veggies), I didn't have sex with him one night because I came to bed too late, and he was asleep...I just don't know what is going to make him mad next. Do you really think it is about me being too sensitive about issues relating to the kids? He helps me a lot. He loves my family, and really likes visiting my mom, dad, brother, etc...He is very thoughtful most of the time. But these little outbursts are very upsetting to me. I have to walk on eggshells when he is like this... Is this normal? My ex never did this...