Dr. Rockstar

Our biggest arguments were originally about miscommunication in the beginning. Someone either miscommunicating something to the other or misunderstanding something the other said.

Later it was responsibility in the marriage, mostly her frustration of my complete lack of budgeting skills or any kind of willpower when it came to impulse buys.

Currently, our most common arguments is how to handle our kids' misbehavior and our growing disagreement about parenting skills in general.

The most useful tool I've found in preventing arguments from escalating into something really nasty is calling a timeout. I know it's really difficult to recognize when you're losing control in the heat of the moment, but once I'd mastered it, it was much easier to control the disagreement. I'm not nearly as good at arguing as my wife the debate champion, so when I find myself getting angry to the point of losing control, I politely tell my wife that I have to cool off, and I go into a different room. It helps me to gather my thoughts. When I do this, it infuriates my wife, but I can't do anything about that. I can only control how my behavior in an ugly situation.