Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

manvsmonster · 05-22-2012, 11:35 AM

Hi there. I'm new too!
I'm sorry you are dealing with these issues. I understand how you feel as I too have a husband that deals with depression and anxiety. I don't know if I'm maybe the best person to give you advice but it sounds to me like you're living in a glass house. My husband has his moments but overall, he's witty, funny and supportive. I've never heard him complain about how I keep the house or what I've fixed for dinner....even if he doesn't like it.

When did you notice this behavior? Has it always been there or has it just started since the birth of your child? I know sometimes men can be very needy (mine is.) If he has a bad day, you can bet that I will too. I have often referred to myself as the marital punching bag and it seems that you also are being put in that position.

Anymore, just like today (we're self employed) a piece of equipment broke. He called me at home (I have a sick one at home) and told me to look on the computer how to "fix" this thing. I asked a simple question as I was confused....he responded to me short fused like and I said, "hey, don't get mad at me." He hung up on me and has been treating me like crap ever since. I don't know either sometimes.

So, back to you....sorry for that. I know this sounds crazy but maybe he is feeling a big competitive with your child when it comes to attention. So maybe he nags you about little things to get even more attention from you. I'm not saying that you're not giving him enough attention but I just know that sometimes men tend to be very "needy" of their wives. Do you pat him on the back for the little things he does...for instance, if he's the type of guy who will step in and help with your child ( I know mine does), I sometimes have to say, "thank you so much, honey, for helping give **** a bath" or just whatever the case may be.

Also, maybe set aside one night a week for date night. If you can afford it and can figure out a night that the two of you are free, try and plan something as a surprise. Another thing I do with my husband is I try and make a "game" out of our feelings.....sort of a trivia type thing. It's a laid back way to try and get him to open up about feelings and have a good laugh at the same time.

Believe it or not, my mom is a counselor and NO, I have not talked to her about my relationship ordeals either. Like you, I am embarrassed. But just keep telling yourself how special you are...everytime he puts your down, just remember that God appointed you to be the mother of your child and that in itself is an honor. So don't ever forget how special you truly are.

I wish you the best and I'd love to hear in about a week or so how you're doing.

05-22-2012, 11:35 AM	#2 (permalink)
manvsmonster Registered User Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 11	Re: husband depressed and angry alto Hi there. I'm new too! I'm sorry you are dealing with these issues. I understand how you feel as I too have a husband that deals with depression and anxiety. I don't know if I'm maybe the best person to give you advice but it sounds to me like you're living in a glass house. My husband has his moments but overall, he's witty, funny and supportive. I've never heard him complain about how I keep the house or what I've fixed for dinner....even if he doesn't like it. When did you notice this behavior? Has it always been there or has it just started since the birth of your child? I know sometimes men can be very needy (mine is.) If he has a bad day, you can bet that I will too. I have often referred to myself as the marital punching bag and it seems that you also are being put in that position. Anymore, just like today (we're self employed) a piece of equipment broke. He called me at home (I have a sick one at home) and told me to look on the computer how to "fix" this thing. I asked a simple question as I was confused....he responded to me short fused like and I said, "hey, don't get mad at me." He hung up on me and has been treating me like crap ever since. I don't know either sometimes. So, back to you....sorry for that. I know this sounds crazy but maybe he is feeling a big competitive with your child when it comes to attention. So maybe he nags you about little things to get even more attention from you. I'm not saying that you're not giving him enough attention but I just know that sometimes men tend to be very "needy" of their wives. Do you pat him on the back for the little things he does...for instance, if he's the type of guy who will step in and help with your child ( I know mine does), I sometimes have to say, "thank you so much, honey, for helping give **** a bath" or just whatever the case may be. Also, maybe set aside one night a week for date night. If you can afford it and can figure out a night that the two of you are free, try and plan something as a surprise. Another thing I do with my husband is I try and make a "game" out of our feelings.....sort of a trivia type thing. It's a laid back way to try and get him to open up about feelings and have a good laugh at the same time. Believe it or not, my mom is a counselor and NO, I have not talked to her about my relationship ordeals either. Like you, I am embarrassed. But just keep telling yourself how special you are...everytime he puts your down, just remember that God appointed you to be the mother of your child and that in itself is an honor. So don't ever forget how special you truly are. I wish you the best and I'd love to hear in about a week or so how you're doing.