Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Do you think forcing us to wait makes us want it less?

Chopblock · 05-01-2008, 01:00 PM

"It took 11 years for me to realize that I no longer loved him. He was just a crutch nothing more."

Thank you sweetp101. This is actually one of the things that I fear most, and I am trying to fully understand it rather than say "we aren't having sex so she must hate me".

The last thing I want to become is her "big brother". I know she loves me, but the sex isn't there and hasn't been there for a while. I believe a large part of it is an image thing, which she is working on and I will finally know for sure if that is or isn't it.

My fear though is that she loves me, but doesn't desire me anymore but doesn't want to lose the sweet deal she has. I do my best to make her feel special and I really do love her, but superior lifestyle I provide vs what she could afford alone is definitely a factor.

I just don't want to wait another 5 or 6 years of pouring my heart into a relationship only to be told something like "if we stay together, there won't be sex". Even if we had an open marriage deal, I don't want to live like that.

Seems to me though that if my last hope fails, I'm going to have to either live with it, or say "if this doesn't change, we're done".

05-01-2008, 01:00 PM	#17 (permalink)
Chopblock Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 178	Re: Do you think forcing us to wait makes us want it less? "It took 11 years for me to realize that I no longer loved him. He was just a crutch nothing more." Thank you sweetp101. This is actually one of the things that I fear most, and I am trying to fully understand it rather than say "we aren't having sex so she must hate me". The last thing I want to become is her "big brother". I know she loves me, but the sex isn't there and hasn't been there for a while. I believe a large part of it is an image thing, which she is working on and I will finally know for sure if that is or isn't it. My fear though is that she loves me, but doesn't desire me anymore but doesn't want to lose the sweet deal she has. I do my best to make her feel special and I really do love her, but superior lifestyle I provide vs what she could afford alone is definitely a factor. I just don't want to wait another 5 or 6 years of pouring my heart into a relationship only to be told something like "if we stay together, there won't be sex". Even if we had an open marriage deal, I don't want to live like that. Seems to me though that if my last hope fails, I'm going to have to either live with it, or say "if this doesn't change, we're done".