Jester

Hi,

I mean, do you ever get over the divorce or do you find yourself still thinking about your ex wife/husband?

This is more of a question to the people who had a divorce but it wasnt entirely what they wanted, more about what their ex spouse thought was right.

Because for me I think it's coming closer and closer to this. Ofcourse I've had a lot of arguements and fights with my wife, but up until this point I've never felt it's going to be actually over for good.

I think my wife has decided to leave me for good because she's been throwing accusations at me and saying she has another person in her life already (although I dont think this one's true, because she suffers from BPD and would throw just about anything at me she thinks will hurt me). But I sense a kind of seriousness coming from her this time, like she's really done.

This originally started as a small problem and suddenly went from bad to worse, she's saying she needs more space, more freedom, that she wants everything to go back to what it was before she was married, going out with her friends drinking was one of the things she mentioned.

When I try to ask her to calm down and just talk to me with reason she...just won't. Now it has gotten to the part she assaults me, slaps me and spits in my face and throws several items to my head (luckely she doesnt have much of an aim).

The point is I feel its too much now and I can't take this anymore, together with her shouting at me to go and leave her so she can be free again and do whatever she wants and the thought that if I would actually leave forever she wouldn't give a rat's ass, makes me quite sad..or depressed more like.

A divorce has never been on my mind, but she insists she wants to be free. Of course this could just be a BPD symptom but that doesnt make things any easier. I love her very much, I dont want to go from her, but how can you force someone to stay with you? You can't. I think now she finally realises that she doesn't want to be married anymore and I'm thinking enough is enough.

So I'm not there yet but I probably will be alone soon, against my will, divorced from the person I love.

So my question you guys and gals, how did you or how are you coping with this? Do you ever forget about the spouse you loved but unwillingly had to divorce, for whatever reason? Do you have any tricks to forget about all the nice memories you had?

I feel pretty hopeless now, as I mentioned many times already, I don't want a divorce, but she won't change her mind.

So how to get over it? How to cope?

M

and sorry for my story, it might seems a bit confusing but please bear with me. Thank you

EDIT: what if after we seperate we find that we miss eachother and want to get back together, or does that only happen in movies? haha. I'm hopeless