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pogopete · 05-23-2012, 04:26 AM

I have a bit of an interesting problem. My wife has become completely disinterested in sex. She says she just doesnt value it at all like I do. She prefers cuddles, or what she says 'intimacy' and 'trust' but not actual sex.

Though she'll be happy to give me a bj, or a hand job, or even sex itself, but its just for the purpose of getting me off not for any kind of mutual pleasure. Sex is forced and it always seems like its just for the purpose of getting it out of the way as quickly as possible.

She hardly lets me touch her sexually any more. Nothing that I can think of that would even warm her up to make her feel like it any more.

Its gotten to the point now that I just have to outright ask, get my fix, she doesn't have any enjoyment, I get off, then done.

I've asked and she seems happy for it to be like this and writes it off to her having a low sex drive. But for me it just sucks because it feels like I'm both a loser for having to beg and then pretty much having to just get a load off when I may as well be masturbating. Its also really demoralising because I immediately think I'm not attractive or loved any more.

When we first met this was absolutely not the case and I believe she is telling me the truth when she says there is no other real reason for it apart from mismatched sex drive.

Its really scary to think that this could be as good as it gets now. Sex is really important for me, and I dont mind if I have a higher sex drive as long as the sex that we do have is intimate and mutually satisfying.

Does anyone have any ideas on what I could try to kickstart things? Am I doing something wrong?

05-23-2012, 04:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
pogopete Registered User Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 4	wife not interested but still does it I have a bit of an interesting problem. My wife has become completely disinterested in sex. She says she just doesnt value it at all like I do. She prefers cuddles, or what she says 'intimacy' and 'trust' but not actual sex. Though she'll be happy to give me a bj, or a hand job, or even sex itself, but its just for the purpose of getting me off not for any kind of mutual pleasure. Sex is forced and it always seems like its just for the purpose of getting it out of the way as quickly as possible. She hardly lets me touch her sexually any more. Nothing that I can think of that would even warm her up to make her feel like it any more. Its gotten to the point now that I just have to outright ask, get my fix, she doesn't have any enjoyment, I get off, then done. I've asked and she seems happy for it to be like this and writes it off to her having a low sex drive. But for me it just sucks because it feels like I'm both a loser for having to beg and then pretty much having to just get a load off when I may as well be masturbating. Its also really demoralising because I immediately think I'm not attractive or loved any more. When we first met this was absolutely not the case and I believe she is telling me the truth when she says there is no other real reason for it apart from mismatched sex drive. Its really scary to think that this could be as good as it gets now. Sex is really important for me, and I dont mind if I have a higher sex drive as long as the sex that we do have is intimate and mutually satisfying. Does anyone have any ideas on what I could try to kickstart things? Am I doing something wrong?