Originally Posted by cpacan
I am in the process of working on my self after my wife's LTA. It left me very frustrated and my self worth and esteem dropped to the floor almost instantly.
I am however doing good rebuilding my self esteem and trust in my self. I have learned that I can't change my wife and her views at things if she choose not to. I have also learned to see things exactly for what they are instead of overanalyzing and getting frustrated. So all focus is now on ME. Next step is to decide how I want to live my life and whether that includes my WW or not.
My question to is this; I have noticed a change in the way I look at my wife. More clear and more realistic. Before her affair I could say without hesitation that I would have taken a bullet for her - this is not the case now. Likewise I would have placed my life in her hands if necessary. This is definitely not the case now. To be honest; it scares me sometimes and I am not proud of it.
How do you feel about this? Would You take a bullet for your fWS? Would you place your life in their hands?
If you are a fWS your self - how do you look at this?
I feel exactly as you do. So much so that I filed for divorce. He still does not want the divorce, but I am moving forward because I don't feel he is doing the heavy lifting needed for me to heal from his emotional, financial and physical affair.
Yes. prior I would have stood between a bullet to save him and I would have trusted him with my life.
Now, I look at him and I see only a deceptive sleaze bag, who looked me in the eye and lied so darn convincingly.
How can I ever trust him again?
Without trust, how can a marriage work. Trusting your spouse above all others is a cornerstone of a good marriage, IMO.
My husband has proved himself untrustworthy on so many levels.