Originally Posted by shy_guy
This is not humor nor pictures - just introspection and musing, so if you're not into that, you can save yourself some time.
It seems to be important to me to define why I do almost everything, and try to decide whether or not it is best. With that in mind, I've spent time trying to decide why I come here. When I first came to TAM, I had two reasons and they were: I like to help; I like to learn. Helping in the situations I saw became very heavy, and right or wrong, I notice that now, I almost never engage in discussion on serious problems. I still learn a little bit, but is it enough to justify the amount of time I spend here? Good question. I don't think it's a primary reason I come here anymore, though.
Now, I seem to spend all my time here cutting up, posting pictures, loving other people's pictures, getting acquainted with personalities, and having fun. Why do that here? I've been trying to work out why I do that, and after a short conversation with a friend on here the last couple of days, I think I may have it defined ... now on to whether or not it is best.
When I look at what I do, it breaks down like this:
Cut up: I do this with my wife, but I'm a cut-up by nature. I used to do this incessantly with my girls when they were home. When I spent it on family, I didn't need anything more. (The subject of our jokes and teasing here is very different from how I joked with my girls, obviously, but the lighthearted fun is the same.)
Pictures: reason is reminiscing and planning on what else I would like to do: I do this with my wife, but there seems to be some reason I continue this ... I used to do it with my girls when they were home.
Tell stories: I do this some with my wife, but that wasn't enough. I used to do this with my girls when they were home.
Share good natured fun: I do this with my wife, but ... yes, I used to do it a lot more with my girls when they were home.
I truly enjoy my son, and the things we do together. I notice that the things I do with my son I don't share so much on here ... except to share them in the same way I would share them with my girls ... if they were home ...
I've said on here before that my wife and I have had 17 addresses in the 27 years we've been married. We've made friends, then had to leave them. Most of my old friends are now just faces, pictures, and lines on Facebook. I have a few new friends, but ... the only people I've been really dedicated to, really faithful to, and really attached to these last 27 years are my family. That's my wife, my girls, and my son. And now ... my girls have grown up, and moved on ... have their own careers they're pursuing in two different parts of the US ... and when I get right down to the root of why I'm here ... I miss my girls. I mean, I REALLY miss my girls!
I text them, but obviously, they don't have time to play like we used to do - I wouldn't expect them to. I don't have any forum to interact with them the way we used to do, and the part of my personality that developed to interact with them is left with nobody to interact with ... so I come here, and I find people to interact with, cut up with, reminisce with, share pictures with, think of things we'd like to do in the future ... I'm a quasi empty-nester and since my son is so different from my girls, although I interact with him, there is a part of me that used to interact with the girls that is just ... missing something.
So is it healthy for me to find what I used to find in my girls here? ... I don't suppose anybody can answer that question for me. Since the girls have been out of the house for a while, I wonder why it's taken me so long to figure out what I was doing with some parts of social media. Hmm ... so I suppose I have to figure it out, but for now, I guess, since I'm writing this, I'm still here ... and now, when I actually begin to think about it, and realize how I try to interact here much like I did with my girls ...
So what's my next step ... I'm thinking ... If you actually read all the way through this, I don't suppose there's really any help ... but if I had something like that to discuss about another subject, and my girls were home, I would have shared it with them and we would have talked ... and ended up laughing at the end of the talk ...