Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Do you think forcing us to wait makes us want it less?

Chopblock · 05-02-2008, 08:34 AM

You are lucky GAsoccerman -- even more so that she is still willing to be touched when she is flying the Japanese flag.

carmaenforcer and i think a LOT alike. I am not yet so burned out that I'm going to cheat -- but I wouldn't condemn someone who cheated after exhausting all possible options.

I am trying to keep a line between "meeting her needs" and "pandering to her whims". Its a fine line, but as long as I am on the good side of it, I'm not so upset. There are things I am trying to do a little bit better that I know are important to her, though I'm not sure they are going to make the difference.

For me, the big point will be the image thing. If she overcomes it (she is actively working on it) then things will hopefully be fine. If that doesn't work, then I am out of options besides "deal" or "leave".

Part of the reason I want more communication is because of this sentiment: "she just can't not stop bring such a selfish B____ long enough to let me get over my hatred I have towards her because of what she puts me through." If there are issues that really are so deep they can't be overcome, or mental barriers that are so strong they can't be broken... well I WANT TO KNOW THAT NOW! I do not want to spend the next 2 or 3 years going deeper and deeper only to find out that it was for nothing and I could have left now.

I do agree with the "taking back the power" statement, and this is why I always tell women that they should be afraid when the man STOPS pestering them for sex. Men aren't dumb, and they aren't going to allow themselves to be treated like puppets forever.

So for me, if the image thing doesn't fix the problem, I will try the "ok, lets work as a team to make this better". If that doesn't work, then I don't have a choice anymore.

05-02-2008, 08:34 AM	#23 (permalink)
Chopblock Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 213	Re: Do you think forcing us to wait makes us want it less? You are lucky GAsoccerman -- even more so that she is still willing to be touched when she is flying the Japanese flag. carmaenforcer and i think a LOT alike. I am not yet so burned out that I'm going to cheat -- but I wouldn't condemn someone who cheated after exhausting all possible options. I am trying to keep a line between "meeting her needs" and "pandering to her whims". Its a fine line, but as long as I am on the good side of it, I'm not so upset. There are things I am trying to do a little bit better that I know are important to her, though I'm not sure they are going to make the difference. For me, the big point will be the image thing. If she overcomes it (she is actively working on it) then things will hopefully be fine. If that doesn't work, then I am out of options besides "deal" or "leave". Part of the reason I want more communication is because of this sentiment: "she just can't not stop bring such a selfish B____ long enough to let me get over my hatred I have towards her because of what she puts me through." If there are issues that really are so deep they can't be overcome, or mental barriers that are so strong they can't be broken... well I WANT TO KNOW THAT NOW! I do not want to spend the next 2 or 3 years going deeper and deeper only to find out that it was for nothing and I could have left now. I do agree with the "taking back the power" statement, and this is why I always tell women that they should be afraid when the man STOPS pestering them for sex. Men aren't dumb, and they aren't going to allow themselves to be treated like puppets forever. So for me, if the image thing doesn't fix the problem, I will try the "ok, lets work as a team to make this better". If that doesn't work, then I don't have a choice anymore.