I've done the Love languages test before. My top 3 are Physical Touch (by a landslide 11/12) and neck and neck are Quality Time and Words of Affirmation (one point apart). Gifts for me got a big 0.
My wife scored highest on acts of service and quality time, which in a way I've known for years. It's why I make a point to help her around the house and try and do nice things for her when opportunity arises. We do spend a lot of time together, and we talk a lot about all sorts of things. I love those times and I know she does as well.
Still for me it's not enough. I wish it were otherwise given our situation, but for me sexual intimacy is a HUGE part of how I feel loved. Great sex can give me a sort of emotional high that lasts for days and days, sometimes weeks. It just makes every part of our home life that much brighter, and inspires me to do more for her. It makes me really ENJOY doing those extra chores here and there in the house.
The problem is good sex doesn't come often, even if we have sex frequently.
Bad sex, which unfortunately we have all too frequently, leaves me feeling empty and hollow... and if it happens too many times in a row doesn't help me at all.
This is why I asked her to stop coming to me for sex unless she's really in the mood. At least until next Friday. If she's not in the mood but she comes to me purely because she knows I want it badly... it often times just makes things worse. She's far too likely to become a rag doll and loose focus right and left, which just puts me in a worse mood and no one is happy.
