Originally Posted by wannabemommy
I've never posted to a forum before, so I hope I'm doing this right.
Background - I am 35 and my husband of 15 years is 41. We met when I was 17, married when I was 19 (he was 26). The plan was to have a baby before he turned 30, he didn't want to be an "old" dad, I didn't want to be "too young" of a mom.
Here's what happened, when I was 22 (getting to that I want a baby point in my life) and he was 29 his ex-wife died...and I was an insta-mom to an 8 year old. PLEASE do not misunderstand, my step-son truly is the best thing that ever happened to me...but raising him made me just want a baby more...but not right at that moment, I was still getting used to a child that was going through a really rough time in his life. I think I was 25 when the bug really bit me...and I mean it really bit. But my husband was already over 30 and didn't want any more children at that point. There was a lot of arguing and a lot of things said...but it came down to leave or learn to live without having a baby. I am totally in love with my husband, so I of course didn't leave. Plus, I couldn't let my wonderful step-son lose another mom.
Now I'm almost 35, my step-son is in college and I honestly don't want to have a baby at this age...I know a lot of people think it's ok - but I have known too many people have too many issues with mid-30's pregnancies. But here's the thing...I'm angry. I am SO angry with him. I get in these moods where I pick fights just so he will feel like I'm feeling. I feel cheated. In every other aspect my husband is damn near perfect...why can't I live with this? Will the feeling EVER stop?
Personally from me, the desire to have a child, I feel will never diminish. I am currently going through a dispute with my fiancee about this, her making me believe when we got married the kids would start coming immediately.
I have got a few different but common opinions.
-Hash it out with your partner.
-Give it time.
-Or face the inevitable. If you want a kid and your partner doesn't splitting up is the option.