BPD? Or NPD? Not much of a differance but letmetellyasomething....
I belive my X is one of those 2, but NPD is closer to the way she acts.
About 10 years ago, my x and I had an argument about God, w/o warning she asked me to leave the house for good. About once a month for a year she'd pick a stupid fight w/ me and tell me she needed me to leave, in front of the kids too. That slowed down to a few times a year but she'd do things w/ the kids and leave me out....like vacations. I never took her anger too seriously, she's a German. About 4yrs ago we were playing around in bed and I folded her pillow in half, w/o warning she got real mean and said "touch my pillow again and I'll kill you, I'm not kidding" I laughed but she wasn't/didn't. The treats of being killed went on for years and I always blew it off unless she said it infront of the kids and then I would make her say she was just joking. When she was in a good mood I'd ask her what she ment by "she'd kill me" and she didn't remember saying that or would say she was joking.
She got real bad, she was playing Farmville for 12hrs a day, she was on FB and other computer games all the time.....the death threats continued til I asked her to seek help.....for months I begged her, I offered to go w/, I lied and said I needed us to go and figure out what was going on....but she always refused~ She had a affair, and another, and another, she was just sleeping around to piss me off.
We did 36weeks of MC and in the first 3 weeks I was told she did "kill" me in her mind, she killed our M.
Thinking back, I could have saved 10yrs of my life for someone who wanted to love me, instead I took my M vows to the bitter end, I never saw it coming. I will always listen better when I'm asked to leave b/c the pain of her cheating has scared me for life.
Will the pain ever go away? YES!!

I don't miss her one bit!! I remember the good times we had but know she's a TOXIC, no good, and EVIL to the core.
Move on before it gets ugly.
Good luck!!
Mouse