Chopblock

"She had an affair, and now I am trying to win her back. Basically, she wants me to make her jealous. She wants me to be confident and have women want me. She thinks this might make her want me again."

I believe THIS is the problem. You are rewarding bad behavior. She hurt you, and you have made it clear that you are willing to do anything to save this relationship.

I know it already failed as I've read the followups, but I believe this advice can still help you. You see that confidence is a big deal, and to add to that, I'll say "not being bitter over the past".

In short: baggage will KILL your chances.

Be thankful you DIDN'T start that family yet. If you had gotten her pregnant, you'd now be entering the dating world with a baby mama tethered to you for life. Both you and your ex-wife will always be a part of each others lives, and many people just don't want to deal with that.

The trick here is to NOT give her what she wants, and NOT bend over backwards to placate her. As was also said, she's only going to get bored and seek out something new -- even with her new man.

The real trick here is to move on -- easier said than done, but better done than dismissed.

Yes you are hurt, yes you were wronged. You have every right to be upset and angry, and it will stay with you for as long as you let it.

You will meet someone who shares your dreams, and who would not ever consider disrespecting you the way your ex-wife did.

Imagine how much better off you will be in 2 years when you have a new special lady and are achieving your dreams, and your ex-wife has laid waste to another relationship.