mollyL

it is one of the easiest things in the world, when living through raising kids and the rest of what life has to offer, that hugs and affection gets put on the back burner. This is something that happens very frequently, and it does take some time to bring it back to pre-kid levels. Your husband, especially coming from a family that has problems expressing affection, might find it especially difficult. Here's a scenario that may or may not be true; think about it: could there have been any times that your husband went to kiss or cuddle you, but you had no time? Perhaps you didn't notice? Perhaps it took more struggle than you realised for him to express love, and maybe he felt rebuffed at some point and went back to his old ways? Men, generally, after the birth of children feel fear that they won't be able to measure up to being fathers, especially if their own dad was cold. Men will never tell you they're scared, of course. Perhaps he reached out for you to help him quell his fearful feelings, and you were too busy to notice. I am not meaning this as a put-down, it's something that happens every day in houses with babies and young children. Just think about it, and see if there may not be an element of truth. I do want to honour you for your candor; many of the people who post here spend alot of time trying to justify their side of the story, but you laid yours out very honestly. Here's a suggestion to start the dialogue again, and you'll know whether it works or not, but how about catching him in the hall and putting your arms around him? Maybe you could say something like, "You are such a good daddy to the kids". Try to do this for a week or so, grabbing him in a hug and complimenting him about the kids or some other area that he does a good job at. Good luck to your family.