newmomma

Hello, I'm new here. Just looking for some advice. I just had a baby 2 months ago so my sex drive is pretty low. When I was prego it was even lower and before I became prego it wasn't that great. Me and my husband met in the army and got married a year after we met. We've now been married 2 years. I give him sex to help him out not because I really want it. Unfortunately a year and a half ago he lost his sister and neice in a fire and has been depressed ever since, which is why he left the army almost a year ago. I got out about 6 months before him due to medical reasons which I'm being compensated for. He hasn't looked for a job or had the enthusiasm to do anything for us or even himself for that matter. He's run out of unemployment before the baby was even born. I'm saying all this to get to the point that he doesn't help out and still thinks I should give him sex. I've been taking classes online since before the baby to make extra income, since military vets can get paid to go. I'm always trying to balance all the school work, taking care of the baby, making sure we all have food (got us government assistance) and trying to find ways to keep us with what we need. I'm exhausted. But he finds any excuse to not help out. He plays video games all day everyday. If he's not playing video games wasting the electricity I pay for, he's sleep. He gets mad if I try to get him to feed the baby or hold her to get her to stop crying.
I can't concentrate on schoolwork with a screaming baby in my ear. I've been suggesting him to go to the VA if his depression is so bad that he can't do anything useful but he won't. He could get compensated for it if it's really that bad. HE gets angry so easily when the baby cries for like 30 secs. Is with holding sex from him bad? I'm way too exhausted when I'm still reading chapters at 4am because I've had to juggle him and the baby. I can't stand being in the same room with him when I'm working hard doing work to help pay his bills, while he's sitting there playing video games.I don't know what to do, I figure sex would help make him do stuff but he's still so lazy.

It is also painful for me to have sex since i tore when I had the baby. I'm not overweight, I actually had the baby early due to her not growing well, basically because I didn't have much food to eat during the pregnancy. Also, he smokes and can't even afford those. I had to bribe him with a carton of cigs to help me unpack my studio so I could do my schoolwork easier. I even put the crib together and her dresser by myself while I was very much prego.