Honeystly

So I actually slapped my stbxh today. I just got so f*cking fed up. Check out my other thread for background, but pretty much he left me 4.5 months ago for an 18 year old (as of 3 weeks ago). He cheated on me when I was pregnant with our second child. Then one month after leaving he introduced that w*ore to his whole family as his gf. We have to be separated for 8 more months before we can divorce and this is just sooo humiliating. I dealt with that. He doesn't give me any money besides $450 for piss poor child support a month. This week I had no money for diapers, as I just went back to work and pay for the mortgage, bills, food, medicine, clothing, and only do relief. I asked him if he could buy diapers, he said he had no money. Bullsh*t. He walked away with 56K that was in his account. I can deal with that too. But I asked him to keep that little homewrecker away from my children, as they are 2years old and 5 months old, and don't need people coming in and out of their lives, screwing them up for the future, so daddy can impress and get laid. He told me he would. Then today when I came home from work to pick them up (I work as a substitute teacher for now since I didn't renew my contract thinking I'd be home with the kids for a year, while he dropped his work to 3 days a week!!!) and they stunk of cheap Impulse deodorant. I confronted the scumbag and he said she wasn't there with them. Well, nobody else would have been. His mom is out of the country and other people have work. She however doesn't, since she just graduated high school and took a year off before starting college. Christ, this is so F*cking pathetic! Then I couldn't take it anymore and I left. Then I came back told him off. His argument is always "if you talk like that I'm leaving", like he's doing me a favor by hanging out with HIS kids. I just slapped him. He was holding our baby at the time. This is so bad. He then grabbed me by the arm, shook me and pushed. He gave me the baby and left. This was 4 hours ago. He won't call the police, because he doesn't want the kids. *******. I shouldn't have done what I had done. But I just couldn't help it. I never hit anyone in my whole life... even when I was little. This is so hopeless. I hate him for ruining our lives then continually flaunting his happiness in my face. My friend told me his latest fb update was 'a whole new world, a new exciting point of view' . I'm glad it is for you asshat. How am I going to get through this??? I can't take this anymore.