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Southerngirl, i think it is just that your husband doesn't really know how to share his life so completely with anyone. An only child with just one parent, never learnt about sharing. He wants to, just doesn't know where to start.

Date night is a good start, and make sure you are enthusiastic about whatever he chooses on his turn, even if it isn't all that exciting to you. Rejection after he makes that first effort might set you back further. You can always let him know in other ways later, if you'd rather not go/do whatever he chose that time...

As for decorating the house... again, it's just a case of him not used to others changing 'his' stuff. I would say, move house! Pick one together and decorate it together. That is probably not too practical though, so start by maybe decorating your bedroom? It's a room that you share, and it's reasonable for you to want to make it nice. Once he sees he could quite like it, then you can gradually work to other parts of the house. Maybe the kitchen next..

I think it's just a question of getting him used to being one of a pair.

The intimacy may well improve once he starts to unwind and peep out from his little singleton shell.