Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Trouble knocking on my door; First day of summer vacation

LillyoftheValley · 05-27-2012, 10:16 AM

Hi Folks,

So I have realized after 10 years plus, that my husband and I are total opposites. That's fine, in theory, but we tend to dampen each other's energies and personalities. I am like the entertainer walking stand up comedian and he is like the poised king. I feel secure by his side and I do love him as long as he is in a good mood. Well, today he was in a bad mood.

Today is the first day of summer vacation and we are teachers. So, I took my daughter to school (still she didn't finish, it's just us) and my husband said he would pick her up. It's 41 degrees celsius outside. We live in a horrible climate. Anyways, later on I went about my own business, I am trying to do a fundraiser. So I just asked him if he would like to have lunch with me at my mom's house a bit later. This "request" was over the phone. His reply was, and I am using capitals to indicate anger and discontent:

YOU WANT ME TO WAIT 1.5 HOURS FOR YOU AT YOUR MOM'S HOUSE IN ORDER TO HAVE LUNCH?

My answer: I don't know why you are angry, but I gave you a good suggestion. There is no need to be angry, just say you don't want to. That's all you need to say. Why are you angry?

BECAUSE IT IS HOT.

Well, it went downhill from there. I was so hurt over the phone. I went about my business, later called him from the store and told him how hurtful he is, and that if he doesn't care that he is hurting me, well that's another story.

He ALWAYS claims something is wrong with me that I am over sentimental. I DO NOT believe that anymore. I just deserve to be treated like a nice lady with dignity and honor and respect and love ALL The time, not just when he is in a good mood.

Please, if you can, please help me. I think I have done nothing wrong, and that he has been sabotaging my sense of self esteem with his crappy mood for the last 3 years since we came back home to our very "hot" and actually pretty nasty hometown. It's not my fault we are here. We are trying to save some money and leave. But this is way too miserable for me.

Thanks. Please be nice. I am feeling horrible, yet still carrying on with business--my projec. Thanks.

05-27-2012, 10:16 AM	#1 (permalink)
LillyoftheValley Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Somewhere Posts: 33	Trouble knocking on my door; First day of summer vacation Hi Folks, So I have realized after 10 years plus, that my husband and I are total opposites. That's fine, in theory, but we tend to dampen each other's energies and personalities. I am like the entertainer walking stand up comedian and he is like the poised king. I feel secure by his side and I do love him as long as he is in a good mood. Well, today he was in a bad mood. Today is the first day of summer vacation and we are teachers. So, I took my daughter to school (still she didn't finish, it's just us) and my husband said he would pick her up. It's 41 degrees celsius outside. We live in a horrible climate. Anyways, later on I went about my own business, I am trying to do a fundraiser. So I just asked him if he would like to have lunch with me at my mom's house a bit later. This "request" was over the phone. His reply was, and I am using capitals to indicate anger and discontent: YOU WANT ME TO WAIT 1.5 HOURS FOR YOU AT YOUR MOM'S HOUSE IN ORDER TO HAVE LUNCH? My answer: I don't know why you are angry, but I gave you a good suggestion. There is no need to be angry, just say you don't want to. That's all you need to say. Why are you angry? BECAUSE IT IS HOT. Well, it went downhill from there. I was so hurt over the phone. I went about my business, later called him from the store and told him how hurtful he is, and that if he doesn't care that he is hurting me, well that's another story. He ALWAYS claims something is wrong with me that I am over sentimental. I DO NOT believe that anymore. I just deserve to be treated like a nice lady with dignity and honor and respect and love ALL The time, not just when he is in a good mood. Please, if you can, please help me. I think I have done nothing wrong, and that he has been sabotaging my sense of self esteem with his crappy mood for the last 3 years since we came back home to our very "hot" and actually pretty nasty hometown. It's not my fault we are here. We are trying to save some money and leave. But this is way too miserable for me. Thanks. Please be nice. I am feeling horrible, yet still carrying on with business--my projec. Thanks.