| | Re: So confused...and hurt.
I mean this in a loving way, and I don't want to kick you when you're already down.
How can you possibly let him get away with LYING to your face when you have more evidence than most people do that he is absolutely 100% cheating on you?
You know that those texts didn't magically appear on his phone.
What you do think his girlfriend is going to say if a woman calls her and asks if she knows her husband? Truly, she said EXACTLY what any of us would have predicted whether you had told us or not. Calling the girlfriend of a cheater is phenomenal waste of time--except to confirm that yes, in deed, Stacey is a woman and yes, indeed, the person who he was calling his sexy bad girl isn't a man.
Let me tell you: you already know it's outrageous, selfish, and immoral for him to treat you this way. Here you have a young child, you're pregnant, he's given you HERPES for goodness' sake--you have caught him WITH HIS PANTS DOWN and he has the NERVE to continue to LIE TO YOUR FACE.
Don't beat yourself up about confronting him the way you did--you had more than enough evidence. You do not need to search any more to determine the truth. You are done with that!
You basically have two cards to play: exposure and filing for divorce.
Realize that many, many divorce papers are filed every year only to be withdrawn. You can delay the divorce or retract it altogether if things were to suddenly take a turn that showed he was remorseful and 100% dedicated to making up to you the horrible wounds he's inflicted.
But right now, he's 1000 miles away from remorse. Here he's suggesting you get a divorce and continue to live together. I'm sure you've never heard such a bizarre thing in your life--but that just shows how much up to his neck he is with cheating. Cheaters live in a fantasy world where they have their cake and eat it too! I bet he even thinks that the two of you would occasionally sleep together while divorced in the same house! But this arrangement would obviously ease his conscious about his nasty girlfriend on the side.
Exposure is where you sit down with his parents and anyone else that he respects and looks up to, and you tell them what is happening. Explain that you contracted herpes. Explain that he texted a woman saying these things. Explain to them that his reaction is to lie through his teeth. DO NOT BUDGE ONE INCH TO IN ANY WAY DIGNIFY HIS OUTRAGEOUS LIES.
Please let your post above be the very last time you pretend that anything he's said about those texts is in any way in the same universe as truth. He clearly thinks: a. you are stupid and b. you are guillible and c. he just might get away with his plan to have you both, which is what he's been enjoying for quite some time.
I am so sorry you are here. Please be strong and brave. It takes every ounce of your wits about you to duel with a cheater. Just remember that every word they say is a lie--as if his body has been invaded by aliens. He is deep inside a fantasy he's constructed and he's going to fight to keep it. Your job is to show him you are a human being who deserves to be treated with respect and dignity and if he can't manage that, he must go.