Originally Posted by OhGeesh
There is no one theme fits all. Just to let you guys know in NY cheating is deamed as sexual intercourse with another person........I think all of this "He texted a girl a picture of his penis" or "He emails her all the time" etc etc
Except in the most serious and longterm of instances is not a affair!! A very poor decision yes a affair no!!. I'm sure others will totally disagree with that, but we are all entitled to our opinions.
I know for me playing on a computer with some cyber person would be much different then the actual act of meeting a girl and all of the others steps involved to actually having sex. One is a mouse click or two the other is a pretty serious string of events that lead up to a physical act.........at least most of the time. I really don't know how people say they are equal.
No one is saying cyber sex and physical sex are equal.
Just because they aren't equal, doesn't mean they aren't both profound betrayals of the marriage vows.
At least where I come from, my naked body is saved for my husband and is not shared, whether in real life, via photos, video, or in virtual form, with another man. The same obviously goes for him. The same goes for sex acts, whether conducted on the phone, over the computer, via words, photos, video, or in person.
So while there's a lot of stuff you don't have to worry about with cyber sex--STDs and pregnancy, to give just two examples--cyber sex with a third party for many people is contrary to marriage and most people would not understand or tolerate it.
Now, if you and your spouse are able to agree that one or both of you engaging in cyber sex is all right, and not a betrayal, well you are entitled to make that arrangement in advance. But most people do not feel that way, and you are the one who needs to understand that, not the other way around.