Chopblock

I was really just curious whether there were women here who had ever dumped a guy for being "too nice" when in actuality, they themselves had a hand in that outcome. I have heard women say that they pick fights over trivial things with their men when they are bored. I have heard other women say that when they were heads over heels in love, they NEVER picked fights. Others are just temperamental or confrontational, or need drama.

I just, as I keep saying, want to make sure I don't end up becoming her big brother. We have a great relationship as people, as friends, and as two deeply connected people emotionally. The sex is just nonexistent.

I can only speculate whether its "me" or "her". I can only guess whether her not wanting to be touched is because she is repulsed by me, or hates her image in general. I've seen evidence of both.

I do love her, I know she loves me. Actions on both our parts prove that. Yes there are difficult times, but everyone has challenges.

But at this rate, I have no doubt we will hit a year with no intercourse. A few more months, and that will be the reality. That is not cool. I am not happy with it. I have said as much specifically many times.

Yet despite the complete lack of sex, I do not feel as if I have withheld anything. Her "deal" as it were, is just as sweet as ever. I believe I have not missed any signals which indicate a lack. I believe that at this point, given how clear I have been (explicitly saying I would like more sex) that if she also feels lacking, and has for almost a year, now is a good time for her to be equally candid.

I have made it clear during our multiyear relationship that if she only communicates via subtle subtext and I don't pick it up, that if whatever she wants is important, she needs to be more direct. I do not buy into the whole "I shouldn't have to TELL you" garbage.

Really which is worse: failing to do something you are unaware needs to be done, or choosing not to do something you are completely aware needs to be done?