Originally Posted by Chopblock

""Oh, I'm tired. I guess I'll get the dishes done in the morning. I'm going to get in the bath." You could win some serious brownie points by doing those dishes. I'm not kidding. That could carry you for several nights!!!"

It comes and goes. I'm not dumb and blind, I can see those messages. The harder ones to see are the more cryptic ones that aren't so direct, like "CVS ran out of milanos" actually means she wants to go on vacation.

Call me crazy, but I always mean what I say. I NEVER ask for something with the intention of getting something else. What's the point in that? Also, I do want to clear up that I am not in favor of hint dropping, like the bath thing. I was suggesting ways that you could show her you love her. Open communication is by far the best and healthiest way to do that.

Again, I have to reiterate here, miscommunication is not gender specific. I have to agree with Drac in that just as many men shut down as women. I see it all the time. I think it has much more to do with personality and upbringing. 2)

Your examples were based solely on the professional world, which has vast differences to the personal world. Since tangential evidence seems to hold water with you, I have met several women who assert that "there is no 'woman's work'" and expect to share the chores equally. HOWEVER, they will NOT take out the garbage, they will NOT clean the gutters, they will NOT mow the lawn. I cook and wash dishes too, I have no problem with equitable division (notice that equitable does not always mean equal). What I take issue with is those who want the best of both worlds: the benefit of equality (pay me the same salary) but still the benefits of chivalry (I'm a woman, I shouldn't have to <thing>).

Just because you've met "several" women like this, doesn't mean we're all that way. I mow the grass, I do the weedeating, do all the cooking and cleaning, collect the trash, grocery shopping, practice baseball with the kids, do homework with the kids, home repair, I put together most everything that needs assembling, I do all the painting, I keep my body in excellent shape, make love to my husband whenever he wants, and although I have bachelor's degree, I'm currently a full-time student. My husband is constantly amazed by what I can get accomplished in a 24 hour period. He has even gone on to say that I often run circles around him and he has trouble keeping up!!!
3) Thats great that your wife is stronger than you. My mom has done the same thing, lifting boxes that men couldn't lift. But picking paradigms isn't going to make a point either. Example: I may not stack up to Cory whoever or Jill whatever, but how do THEY stack up against the strongest men in their categories? I get what you are trying to say, but your example doesn't do it justice.

I think he's trying to make a point that he and his wife fill in the gap for each other. When he was unable to perform what many would consider "manly roles", she loved him enough to step up to the plate for him.
4) I get fed up with always being accused of being a poor communicator. I make my statements and intentions very clear by communicating them as such. I do not have a hidden agenda in my relationship, it is all clear and on the table. My actions support my feelings. Consistency, transparency, its all there.

Perhaps it's not that you're not communicating your needs, but the way in which you're communicating them. If my husband says, "Honey, I'm running late, if you have a minute could you iron this for me?'', I'm much more likely to oblige than if he says, "Why didn't you iron my shirt last night? You knew I had a meeting today and now I'll probably be late all thanks to you!"

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.