Originally Posted by mickey1
im at the point where if i let go i stay married if i start grilling her again in order to get the truth which she will never tell me we get divorced..........with no tangible proof of anything.
So what? You're wife has already shown indisputable signs of disloyalty - she's a chronic lier. She avoids answering questions directly, she's been caught in lies in the past, and she has done some extremely inappropriate things while married to you. Even if she didn't
have sex with the band when they went back to the hotel together (which I think is astronomically
unlikely), she is behaving like a teenage girl, not like a woman grown and married.
The issue stems from your lack of enforcing boundaries and rules in your marriage - you state that you gave her little attention, that you married her because she was pregnant with your child. You were distant. It seems like you behaved this way until you realized she may be cheating on you a few months ago.
The question is - do you want
to stay married with her? Can you lay down some ground rules and enforce
them, as her man? Or will you allow her to carry on and do as she pleases, and play the part of meek, non-threatening cuckold?
I fear that Entropy is entirely
right - you cannot (or refuse) assert yourself, and your wife has absolutely no respect for you as a man. Sure, she has sex with you due to marital obligation, but she doesn't love or respect you as her partner and mate. She dislikes being confronted with divorce because you are threatening her comfortable living conditions, not because she's afraid of losing you as her husband.
If you will not assert yourself and lay down some rules and boundaries, and if you refuse to spend time with her and keep her focused on you and you alone, then divorce this woman. Just do it
In truth, I'd say divorce her even if you are willing to assert yourself, as your wife sounds like she has a very questionable lifestyle.