Originally Posted by Timber
The reason I highlighted my faults was to show that I'm not blameless here. If I'm such a bad guy though what's stopping her from being honest with me? When I ask what I've done to deserve this she wouldn't answer me. Even trying to guilt her by saying that spending 20 years with someone should at least grant me a little honesty didn't work. If she blames it all on me I'm fine with that, I just don't like being lied to.
I don't know why she won't come out and say it. How have you reacted in the past when she's talked with you about your porn addiction and the effect it's had? Or other touchy issues, like your difficulty finding a new job? Do you open up to each other, or does it just turn into an argument?
It seems what's happened is: sustained porn addiction and lack of sex has led to emotional distance has led to a shaky marriage has led to her opening up to another man who makes her feel good about herself. How would you react if she told you that? Maybe she doesn't want to open that whole can of worms that leads back to sex, intimacy and porn? Or maybe she has tried to work on this with you but has given up?