It's only a game on playful stuff. When either of us has truly fvcked up we either volunteer an apology, or we give it when our spouse calls foul.
I would not stay with someone who is not willing to apologize when they are wrong. Actually you will find in many sexless marriages, the refuser laid the groundwork for stopping sex via behavior outside the bedroom. And one of the first big steps in that direction, is the cessation of apologies. It is a very dominant move - it says: you don't matter enough to warrant an apology, even when I am wrong.
We (my wonderful wife) and I briefly flirted with disaster. I became very passive for about two years and during that time she became steadily more aggressive. Really interesting dynamic actually. At peak this is what happened - and there was nothing funny about it.
She would do something blatantly wrong, and I would point it out. And her response was "not a problem".
After about two months I stepped up and said "WTF does (not a problem) mean"?
And then I firmly forced the issue. Within a month that speech pattern disappeared, and "I am sorry" returned.
Culturally - men born in the 30's and 40's (and earlier) were apology resistant. The pendulum has swung the other way now.
So it is true that my W and I play this "game" but only because I find it entertaining. Last weekend she was a bit off, and Sunday night without any prompting from me, she sad she was very sorry for being a bltch the whole weekend.
QUOTE=heartsbeating;784247]If there's been playful banter and teasing (not hurtful) it usually comes in the form of a goofy tone, or occasionally I will call him Batman as a term of endearment. So if it's been silliness, I might say "I'm sorry, Batman"
If he owes me an apology for silly banter, I might suggest in a more sassy tone "Hey Bruce Wayne! I think you're forgetting something.." which makes him laugh and then he'll say sorry. Usually our silliness doesn't actually require apology though.
For serious matters, I tend to apologize quickly. I'm not one for holding grudges and once I've seen the part I've played and considered his perspective, the apology is there. I feel like I might be missing the point of your thread though.[/QUOTE]
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