| | Re: 2 years ago today...
Girl Scout cookies are quite delicious. I rather enjoy them. Think I'll have to put this one off as you guys have convinced me to turn over a new leaf on my health.
I feel bad putting all this on Almost's thread. Maybe I should start my own. Just give the word, Almost, and I'm outta here.
chapparal, thank you for the suggestions and the statistics. Where did you find those, by the way? I've tried looking for stuff like that and most of what I find seems unreliable at best, and it's never consistent with the stats I found previous. Stats are almost an obsession with me right now. I really want to know what my chances are. From those stats, it's looking grim.
The one stat I don't understand is the 80% who divorced and wished they hadn't. I don't get that impression from the divorcees here, or the ones I know, but I'm no statistician either.
I did try exercise in the beginning of this whole mess. It was always with my wife. I was so dependent on her that I couldn't be seperated from her for almost any reason. I was like a little puppy dog that needed attention. Pathetic. I quickly let depression and apathy stop that for me though. Now I'm 20 pounds heavier than when I started this whole mess, and the soda addiction's not helping there either. It really is time to get the ol' ticker beating again.
While my wife does want reconciliation, she's been awesome (if you can call an adulterer awesome), I don't love her anymore. Not after what she did to our formerly good marriage. I've seen far too many people in my life stay after an affair, and it just doesn't work out. Sure they claim happiness and a good marriage. One that's "better and more fulfilling than before the affair", but it never works out like that in the end. Most of those couples I've seen end up divorcing years later. One couple I recall, as I was growing up, seemed so happy. Despite that outward happiness I had no clue why, as a child, I felt severe wierdness with this couple until I found out their "first" child was really just the result of adultery with another man. Then out of the blue one day, 20+ years after her first adultery, former-adulterating-wife runs off and starts slvtting around with more strange men. The husband was devastated. She ended up commiting suiced 3 years later and he died of a heart attack 5 years later. I saw how the past 20-30 years of his life were wasted in an instant. "Happy" memories with no real current basis for them to flourish on. He went on to marry a wonderful woman, but that only lasted for 3 years before death took him. He was in his late 40's. I don't want that. I saw my wife's grandparents go through something similar, and I'm now watching similar problems distance my wife's parents from each other as well. I suppose this is the biggest reason I'm so sceptical of any real recovery from an affair.
On the books, maybe they'll help me with my future relationships, though I'm not even sure I want another relationship. Five Love Languages was good. My wife and I read it a few year before the affair. I just wish it had done more to stop an affair. Women just have a knack for making me feel lower than I ever had before. Before my wife, it was a girlfriend who led me on and then told me that she owed her abusive ex another chance. Talk about feeling low when you lose your love to somebody who hits, yells, and treats women poorly.
Enough of my problems though. Time to end them and get on with making a happy life.