Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

pigpen · 05-05-2008, 02:46 PM

Hello,
I just found this site. I am going to keep this short so it does not get too emotional.

Where to begin?
My husband and I have been married nearly 18 years. We have one son who is 10.

Like many people on this site we have no sex life. Going on 8 years now. We have no real emotional intimacy. We do not have much day to day agreement on how to run the household.
We do have intellectual compatibility. He is a good friend for surface stuff. We just cant seem to get deeper.

Why are we together? I dont know. I can not financially care for my son on my own. I am sure that is part of it.

I am frustrated. Probably angry. Definately tired.
In all the years we have been together I have not seen my husband step forward to say he sees we have problems. He just goes along with what ever is there - unless I start pushing to talk. If I do he he becomes unapproachable and blames me for everything. the only answer he ever gives is "i dont know what to tell you. you just expect too much and you are crazy.

Early on in our marriage my husband was an abrupt person when it came to sex. He never tried to just ease me into intimacy - no soft kisses or cuddles. Just stick the toungue in and expect we would have sex. I tried teaching him how to touch me. But he took this to mean "dont touch" and calls me an ice queen.

We live in squalor. He is not much for home imporvement and argues with me every time I ask to take the vrap piling up in the back yard "its too expensive", "i dont have have time" "you cant use my truck" or "you can use my truck but not now". If I do any work it gets un-done faster than I can keep up.

I have tried hard to figure out how to make this work. but I hate every minute of it. I have had enough but I dont want to hurt my family or me. Yet I dont know what to do.

I cant fix it - I cant change it and I cant leave it.

Thanks for listening. I have to go now.

05-05-2008, 02:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
pigpen Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 46	multiple problems Hello, I just found this site. I am going to keep this short so it does not get too emotional. Where to begin? My husband and I have been married nearly 18 years. We have one son who is 10. Like many people on this site we have no sex life. Going on 8 years now. We have no real emotional intimacy. We do not have much day to day agreement on how to run the household. We do have intellectual compatibility. He is a good friend for surface stuff. We just cant seem to get deeper. Why are we together? I dont know. I can not financially care for my son on my own. I am sure that is part of it. I am frustrated. Probably angry. Definately tired. In all the years we have been together I have not seen my husband step forward to say he sees we have problems. He just goes along with what ever is there - unless I start pushing to talk. If I do he he becomes unapproachable and blames me for everything. the only answer he ever gives is "i dont know what to tell you. you just expect too much and you are crazy. Early on in our marriage my husband was an abrupt person when it came to sex. He never tried to just ease me into intimacy - no soft kisses or cuddles. Just stick the toungue in and expect we would have sex. I tried teaching him how to touch me. But he took this to mean "dont touch" and calls me an ice queen. We live in squalor. He is not much for home imporvement and argues with me every time I ask to take the vrap piling up in the back yard "its too expensive", "i dont have have time" "you cant use my truck" or "you can use my truck but not now". If I do any work it gets un-done faster than I can keep up. I have tried hard to figure out how to make this work. but I hate every minute of it. I have had enough but I dont want to hurt my family or me. Yet I dont know what to do. I cant fix it - I cant change it and I cant leave it. Thanks for listening. I have to go now.