Originally Posted by recent_cloud
you obviously care very much for your wife, want to keep your family intact, and feel somehow you've royally screwed up.
based on your verbal demeanor, i don't doubt you've truly made a mess of things.
i'm sorry for that.
i commend your forthright approach to your situation, and it's that forthrightness that affords you the best chance to save your marriage.
and so it's time to take inventory:
what exactly did you do so wrong
and how do you intend to correct it
think these thoughts through before presenting them to your estranged wife; she's listening very carefully.
Very true especially since OP said she warned him more than once that things needed to change, why didn't you heed the warnings? You took her for granted. She sought emotional fulfillment elsewhere, she told you to come clean. I am surprised she did but she needed to get it out and let you know that, for her, that was her level of unhappiness, and that it was hard to break it off before a PA (some marriages push people into an EA or PA-some spouses are just crazy and despite having everything they need at home go outside anyway) It sounds like you openly admit you were not giving her what she needed and she requested many times for you to... don't know if you can save it at this point or not. Have you asked her for counseling?