Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

pigpen · 05-05-2008, 06:10 PM

"squalor" is a perfectly valid word. After all it simply means "dirty, disorganized stemming from poverty or neglect"
Lets not start picking on vocabulary as "hyperbole". The only purpose it serves is to make one feel superior.

As for my troubles - yes my husband is lazy. He works 24 hours a week and surfs the net 80. He does do the laundry every 2 or 3 weeks. In his own words he is no good at making a plan. Truth is he is no good at sticking to one. He started custom trim on my house 10 years ago. Yet even now half the windows and doors have no trim at all. It does not matter that I have assured him that custom trim is not important to me. What does he need to get the job done?

He has had 8 years to approach me for sex. He does not. i have assured him I want him. I have bought lingerie and encourage porn. I have tried teasing, directly asking and begging. I have even shaved my .....
He says he is not gay. He says "it is in-appropriate" but does not say what he means or what is appropriate. I have done what I know to do. NOPE - I dont bring it up any more. Give me a friggin break.

Listen, no matter what I personally do - he has to step up at some point in our marriage. I am not a harpy. Or sex crazed or overly demanding. But no matter how much resposnibility I am willing to take - and look for my own errors to make corrections, he has to step up. Marriage is a two way street. he is a parked car facing the wrong direction with a stalled transmission. But no matter what I do or say or do not do or say his response is always the same. The mistake are all mine, the lacck of love is all my fault and all I want is for him to jump hoops

What I want is a husband who chooses to participate in our marriage because it is his marriage too. He will never buy a book, talk to a friend or join a forum hoping to find answers. God knows he does not talk to me.

I do appreciate that you have taken the time to answer my message. It was full of self pity. Not a pretty moment.
Pick one - hm....i have no money. Leaving is pretty much out.

change? I have tried making changes alone for 18 years.

Fix? That is obviously no optional at this point in the game.

I want to leave. That is my choice. Actually I mostly want him to leave. But that does not seem possible either.

How do you kick out a 6 foot tall, 200 lbs man while your 10 year old son looks on? How do you leave with no money and a 10 year old son? Where do you go? and how do you get there?

05-05-2008, 06:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
pigpen Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 32	Re: multiple problems "squalor" is a perfectly valid word. After all it simply means "dirty, disorganized stemming from poverty or neglect" Lets not start picking on vocabulary as "hyperbole". The only purpose it serves is to make one feel superior. As for my troubles - yes my husband is lazy. He works 24 hours a week and surfs the net 80. He does do the laundry every 2 or 3 weeks. In his own words he is no good at making a plan. Truth is he is no good at sticking to one. He started custom trim on my house 10 years ago. Yet even now half the windows and doors have no trim at all. It does not matter that I have assured him that custom trim is not important to me. What does he need to get the job done? He has had 8 years to approach me for sex. He does not. i have assured him I want him. I have bought lingerie and encourage porn. I have tried teasing, directly asking and begging. I have even shaved my ..... He says he is not gay. He says "it is in-appropriate" but does not say what he means or what is appropriate. I have done what I know to do. NOPE - I dont bring it up any more. Give me a friggin break. Listen, no matter what I personally do - he has to step up at some point in our marriage. I am not a harpy. Or sex crazed or overly demanding. But no matter how much resposnibility I am willing to take - and look for my own errors to make corrections, he has to step up. Marriage is a two way street. he is a parked car facing the wrong direction with a stalled transmission. But no matter what I do or say or do not do or say his response is always the same. The mistake are all mine, the lacck of love is all my fault and all I want is for him to jump hoops What I want is a husband who chooses to participate in our marriage because it is his marriage too. He will never buy a book, talk to a friend or join a forum hoping to find answers. God knows he does not talk to me. I do appreciate that you have taken the time to answer my message. It was full of self pity. Not a pretty moment. Pick one - hm....i have no money. Leaving is pretty much out. change? I have tried making changes alone for 18 years. Fix? That is obviously no optional at this point in the game. I want to leave. That is my choice. Actually I mostly want him to leave. But that does not seem possible either. How do you kick out a 6 foot tall, 200 lbs man while your 10 year old son looks on? How do you leave with no money and a 10 year old son? Where do you go? and how do you get there?