I'm in a bad mood
WH and I seperated almost 4 weeks ago. I asked for it - I needed time to work through my feelings by myself, and I had also reached the point where I felt like I had to start pulling out the big guns to show I was no longer going to be a doormat.
Some things have gotten better. I feel like I am being treated with more respect. But there are two big things that stand in the way of R - effort and TT.
He tells me he is willing to do whatever it takes repeatedly. When I give him specific things he can do, he does do them, eventually. For example, I asked him to read the first chapter in a book (20 pages) because it described how I was feeling better than I could myself. He read it - two weeks later when he "had the time". Before D-day, he would have never read the book. Sometimes I feel like I am being unreasonable - that I should look at it as an improvement. Most times I think if he is too busy to take a half hour to make our marriage better, this will never work.
He's a world class trickle truther. Here is a great example of it in a recent text conversation (they were co-workers btw):
M: You said she would call your phone from her phone at work, what would she call about?
WH: Asking if I was mad cause I wasn't looking at her, stuff like that
M: How often would you look at her?
WH: I hardly ever looked at her
M: That doesn't make sense. If you rarely looked at her, why would she notice you weren't?
He then calls and says "I would look at her a few times a day but didn't know how to convey that it writing"
By writing "a few times a day"?? When I said that is an example of TT, he says I am trying to tell him what he can or can't say. WTF?!? I countered by saying if there is a specific answer to a question, and you answer it with an indirect answer I can interpret a million ways, you are not telling the truth. It is so frustrating.
Does anyone have suggestions on how to stop the TT? I'm going to go crazy.
Sorry so long. End rant.
