pigpen

Stay,
Yes marriage is a compromise and hubby isn't compromising.
Instead he is sending out huge warning flags.
The fact that he is so resistant to change in the house is a big one. This is someone who keeps absolute control. He has not married her as much as collected her. It does not have to be that way. I suspect that right now it is a bad habit he has and is not even aware he is doing it. But if one allows this behavior to continue it can escalate and be much worse. Especially if his schedule changes and he is home all week.

I never mentioned divorce. I said marriage counseling.
Marriage counseling is to help couples stay together. Not something you do as part of divorce. If couple wait to see the counselor until they are at the divorcing point it may already be too late. I say go alone at first because in a situation where one partner does not feel they have control they need to learn how to have control before going to counseling with their partner. They need to be strong. Counseling will help them be strong. it will also help to identify areas that ARE important to work on in the marriage and allow one to let the the other stuff go.

Yes do this now at one year. It will save years of heartache later.

I just re-read the posts and realized that southern mentions having low self esteem. This is the very best reason in the world to going to a counselor. Because no matter what hubby does or says she will always feel at the bottom. She needs to raise her self up.

Southern, everyone has made good suggestions of things you can try. But none of them will be effective if you don't have good self esteem. Do not try to make your husband responsible for your self esteem. Go to counseling. YOU ARE Strong or you would not have survived the stuff in the past that pulls you down now. But your husband is a strong personality and it is going to take an equally strong personality to make this work. Seeing a counselor is like taking vitamins before you get sick. Prevention is better than cure.