muttgirl

At least your h is concerned and interested in you. you can stop yourself from lashing at him by pausing, counting to 5 or 10 and remember to be polite and explain in a short sentence what is going on. You have driven people away and you will do the same to the h unless you train yourself to be civil to him so he continues to care and try to help. The stress is tough but exercise does help. Walks do the trick for me but working out can burn off that energy. Also stuff like singing or yelling in your car if you are alone can release some stress as well as jumping jacks or shadow boxing even for a couple minutes makes you feel release of that energy. Either way, you have someone who is worth protecting, even from yourself.