confusedandtorn

I'm new to this but really need some advice and to get this off my chest. I am married with 2 children and have been having an affair for the past 3 months, which I have never done before. I have been married for 15 years and with him for a total of 20. For the past 2 years I have been unhappy in my marriage. My spouse has put me on the back burner during this time. Work, tv, golf have been a priority in his life.
I have communicated with him about my feelings, but nothing seems to work. Our sex life is simply connvenient. During this time I have put up a wall in fear of being rejected over and over. I never intended on having an affair, but it just happened. The person I met is wonderful. We became friends and I shared what I was going thru and more or less he was a person I could vent to. He makes me so happy. He cares about me in a way that my husband doesn't. We have both fallen in love with each other and the feeling is something I have never felt before. My husband doesn't know about the affair. He is emotionally devastated by the fact that we are having problems and that I am not in love with him anymore. The man I am in love with (Bob) has moved 4 hours away. I know it's soon to be in love, but it feels right. I found out that my spouse looked through my stuff because he had suspicions about me being with someone else. I told Bob and he is now standoffish towards me. He says he still loves me and wants to be with me but thinks we just need to be friends for now. Our feelings are so strong for each other and I am so confused. I am afraid of losing Bob because of the happiness he gives me. I know I have to take care of my family, but I also want happiness which is very selfish. If I didn't have children I would leave. This is where I'm torn. I am having a hard time emotionally because I'm afraid of losing this feeling of being loved and cared about in a way I have never felt. I just don't know what to do!!

Thanks for listening.