Originally Posted by forlorn99
You can choose to try and reconcile, you can still change your mind at any time and opt for the other answer. If you love your wife and want to try and stay together you need to tell her what you expect from her. If she is not willing to do the things that you need then go to counseling a couple of times and ask again. If she is still not willing to meet the demands that you need in order to get through it then start thinking more about the divorce side.
Speaking of what to expect from her, I forgot to mention another book in addition to Not Just Friends, which is Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud and Townsend.
If you opt for marriage counseling, make sure you choose one who is educated about infidelity. We wasted 6+ mos while my husband was still secretly in contact with his emotional affair partner with a supposedly well-respected MC. Waste of money! You can't fix a marriage with 3 people in it, and you can't be sure that 3 people aren't in it as long as two EA partners have contact.
That's the hard truth that's tough to swallow.