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Originally Posted by ninjatastic  About a month ago a close family member of my wife confessed to my wife that she had an affair. This caused my wife to start talking to me about a guy she has worked with for several years that has been flirting with her. |
How are you sure about this?
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Originally Posted by ninjatastic She said that he had been making nice comments and that she liked how it made her feel. She also said that he was good looking. She didn't go into much more detail but I became a little suspicious that there was more than what she led me to believe. She said that she told him to keep the conversations work related however he is having a struggling marriage and talked to my wife about it sometimes. She said that after telling him to keep it work related that he started being flirty with the girl who sits next to her. My wife said that it made her want to quit. I thought it was out of disgust for the infidelity the married man was showing however I feel it was more out of jealousy that my wife was experiencing. This was about a month ago. |
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Originally Posted by ninjatastic Around a week ago I confronted my wife and asked if anything else was going on. She said that she had stopped talking to him but he continued to ask her what she was mad about and why she wouldnt talk. She told him that she thought he was having an affair with the other woman and he denied any involvement with her. They continued to talk on the phone and both admitted that they had feelings for each other. |
Feelings for each other is a marriage killer.
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Originally Posted by ninjatastic My wife told him that she was married and could not act on it. He said that he would cheat on his wife with my wife but she would have to make the first move. The phone records showed that it was a 23 minute conversation so I imagine it was a little more in depth than this. She has answered every question I have asked. I asked her if she still had feelings for him and she said "yes". I told her that she needed to confront him at work and end the relationship/friendship. She said that she spoke to him and said nothing was going to happen and everything needed to stop. She said that he accepted this and even offered a suggestion to help limit their contact. She did not end the friendship though. She said since she works with him it would just be awkward. |
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Originally Posted by ninjatastic The fact that she developed feelings for him has crushed my world. I know that I worked alot and didn't fulfill my role as a husband but I'm having such a difficult time with this. |
Dont take blame, so easily. Have you objectively evaluated your own conclusions?
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Originally Posted by ninjatastic |
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Originally Posted by ninjatastic She wants to keep her job and wants to remian friends with this turd. |
Danger.
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Originally Posted by ninjatastic
Everyone has told her to get out of the situation. A few days later she said that it is over and doesn't seem as appealing anymore. I just can't get past her still being around him. I've been flip flopping on her keeping her job. She has been stubborn about it. Its a good job, she has been there 8 years, and if she leaves I know she will be unhappy. I love my wife and hate to see her unhappy.
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No contact is a condition here.
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Originally Posted by ninjatastic Can anyone give me any advice. I'm hurting and struggling so much with this. If she keeps this job will I ever heal and trust her again knowing that she still works with this guy and has contact on a daily basis. Am I being selfish asking her to leave her job? If she does leave her job will it make things better? |
