I agree with both of the above posts, however there is so much I would like to add and offer.
First the affair
Quote:
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I never intended on having an affair, but it just happened.
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Actually you lead it on and let it happen. You also can end it all at any time.
75% of people claim (msn poll) to have made a monogamous commitment to a single partner. It is important to note that while I consider cheating wrong it is within the context of a monogamous commitment.
The effects on the cheating partner are often sadness (25 percent), stress (32 percent) and guilt (49 percent).
So after someone cheats why trust them. They have already broken the morals of trust and respect.
So what does this do to your husband?
Cheating can devastate a person emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and even physically.
Communication ~ A cheater will use lack a communication to hide the deed or avoid talking about it. But communication is the one thing that can hold a relationship together the best and even repair it.
Unfair advantage ~ A cheater often uses an affair as a way of getting an unfair advantage over someone. It is easy to withhold sex from your partner if you are getting it elsewhere. They become weaker mentally and you now control a source of power. After all Cheaters are usually for one's own interest, and often at the expense of others.
Lying ~ Most affairs are never known. This is in large part because of lying. Not just one Lie but over and over again.
Trust ~ Trust is broken and often never rebuilt and for good reason. But where trust is such an important issue to many relationships this is a key to why many end.
Deceit ~ Like lying deceit is used to cover up the deed in hopes it will never be found out.
Self esteem ~ Once a person has been cheated on they may lose a great deal of self esteem. Where they not good enough? Is the other person better looking? More fit? Better health?
Vulnerable ~ Once you feel violated you worry that it can happen again.
Unattractive ~ Why else would someone stray?
Insecure ~ About who and what you are and stand for. Insecure about relationships and trust in another.
Unworthy ~ Feelings of being unworthy of love or happiness.
Do you really think this will help your marriage or your family? All this does is take away from the time and energy that you could and should put into your marriage. You have tried to communicate to your husband, try to do so in a different way.
You have a choice either leave your husband in the hopes that bob is all the thinks you hope for or fix your marriage.
draconis