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juls · 05-07-2008, 05:17 AM

HE had gotten to the point that yes he would have followed through. I was so wrapped up in every other aspect of life that I had left him behind. And I knew when he said I'm done something was really wrong, it's sad that it took me getting to that point to open my eyes...

He did "wonder" what my intentions were for a while. He did communicate those fears to me..He worried I was "just giving in to get him back and then back to square one"...But in time he realized this was not the case.

My fear issues boiled down to me. I feared giving "ALL" of myself to anyone person. I gave what I thought I could handle loosing and kept the one thing I knew I still had conrol over and that was my sexuality. I feared if I gave all of everything I had in me that he would use to to hurt me. (baggage sucks). When in reality me withholding did more harm. I have a man whom loves me and everything about me and wanted to share it all with me. But I choose to keep the key thing that makes relationships into marriages..

I remember I used to say to him.."Well I have been cleaning your house all day and taking care of your kids and I'm tired now, how dare you get mad at me for not having sex with you"...He finally got to the point he said to me "you know I can get a maid to do all that, I want YOU. I want the intimacy and passion back and if I have to hire a maid so you won't be to tired for me then so be it"..and he is right..Now I know this. Now I know that the dishes could have waited and that time with him is more important.

He is a wonderful, very fair man. ANd he just got to his breaking point almost 3 years ago. See he could have mimiced so many other men and women I read about..."other than our sex life EVERYTHING is fine"..That was us...We had a wonderful open line of communication marriage, except sex.

I hope this makes sense it's 5 am and I am trying to type!

05-07-2008, 05:17 AM	#18 (permalink)
juls Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 49	Re: Almost sexless marriage HE had gotten to the point that yes he would have followed through. I was so wrapped up in every other aspect of life that I had left him behind. And I knew when he said I'm done something was really wrong, it's sad that it took me getting to that point to open my eyes... He did "wonder" what my intentions were for a while. He did communicate those fears to me..He worried I was "just giving in to get him back and then back to square one"...But in time he realized this was not the case. My fear issues boiled down to me. I feared giving "ALL" of myself to anyone person. I gave what I thought I could handle loosing and kept the one thing I knew I still had conrol over and that was my sexuality. I feared if I gave all of everything I had in me that he would use to to hurt me. (baggage sucks). When in reality me withholding did more harm. I have a man whom loves me and everything about me and wanted to share it all with me. But I choose to keep the key thing that makes relationships into marriages.. I remember I used to say to him.."Well I have been cleaning your house all day and taking care of your kids and I'm tired now, how dare you get mad at me for not having sex with you"...He finally got to the point he said to me "you know I can get a maid to do all that, I want YOU. I want the intimacy and passion back and if I have to hire a maid so you won't be to tired for me then so be it"..and he is right..Now I know this. Now I know that the dishes could have waited and that time with him is more important. He is a wonderful, very fair man. ANd he just got to his breaking point almost 3 years ago. See he could have mimiced so many other men and women I read about..."other than our sex life EVERYTHING is fine"..That was us...We had a wonderful open line of communication marriage, except sex. I hope this makes sense it's 5 am and I am trying to type!