***when you come off as sexiest
Only on the catwalk
***I have been doing this for some time and I feel for many of the people on the forum.
Same, just not here.
***pushy + condescending
This is what its really about
: I use the "tough love" approach a lot. I see people who have become "comfortably uncomfortable" and for whom coddling will not help at all. While I realize some people are in more fragile states, and I do allow for that, I also see cases of people who need to be rocked out of their ruts and told flat out that the situation (or their actions) are NOT ok.
I am not alone in this approach. Take the case on the other thread of the withholder who believes she is doing the right thing. Both carma and I asserted that while it "seems" like the right thing now, later on she may wish she could turn back time. Gentle coddling is not going to help.
This holds true for this OP as well, who is being taken advantage of clearly. I realize we are not aware of her side of the story, but some signs ring clear and all too familiar.