Chopblock

***But I choose to keep the key thing that makes relationships into marriages..

This is a very powerful and true statement. We often hear the flip side ("we're roommates") but seldom someone admitting. I know you've been through a powerful journey and learned a lot and am happy to hear it worked out.

***cleaning your house all day and taking care of your kids

Pet peeve here: I hate when a person tells his/her spouse "your kids" when they are "our"s.

***"you know I can get a maid to do all that, I want YOU. I want the intimacy and passion back and if I have to hire a maid so you won't be to tired for me then so be it"..and he is right..Now I know this.

Yeah this is the crux of it. If there's zero sex and lacking emotional intimacy, then really what is either person getting.

What you said about being afraid to give though was also very enlightening. I can imagine from his point of view, he also felt a bit insulted or shortchanged. Its like: "I MARRIED you, we have two kids together, where do you get off withholding anything on the grounds of "being afraid""

I am so happy to hear that things worked out, I really am. I had been afraid of getting to that breaking point and issuing an ultimatum or similar. I know before I do that, I will try forcing conversation. I'm sick of getting the "I don't want to talk about it" or "not now" or any other excuses for lacking in communication. I can see though that if she still uses those excuses, then its time to imply we might be better off taking a break.