happilymarried67

We have a chronic illness in our family. We had toxic mold in our home and we all suffered terribly with chronic fatigue, depression, fibromaylgia and other problems caused by a weakened immune system and inflammation that was caused from the horrible allergic reactions we had to the mold. It was from 2003-2006 that we were at our worst. It is very hard to live with someone who is depressed, anxious, irritable and in pain. It is hard being the person with it, and it is hard being the person married to it. We had both, and our children suffered too. Those years were the hardest years in my life. I have taken effexor in the past when my first husband past away. The first and last time I took an anti-depressant. I do not use any drugs now for my chronic illness, just diet, exercise, supplements, allergy shots and it has helped immensely. Just a thought for your depression. The hardest thing for a wife to do is to let the depression be the problem and not your husband. It is easy to place blame on your spouse not the illness. That is where I slipped the most, knowing that he was ill. I had to remind myself that everyday. The only thing that helped us through was talking to each other about our illness, how we felt, how we knew that when we weren't sick that we love each other very much. I held him alot, he held me alot, even through the depression of just wanting to crawl under the covers away from everything. We tried to connect. Trust me, connecting is the hardest when you feel like you don't love anything. But I did it, and we are both here today. Kids are strong and feeling better, we are more in love today then we were 11 years ago. So I have to say, instead of letting the person push you away with depression, hold that person at night, let them feel that you are there. Hug them even if you don't feel like it, and kiss them even if they don't return the gesture. Going through those motions helped know that we were there. I hope this made sense. It stirs up so much emotions. I lived through my first husband's cancer and his death, and I lived through a chronic illness. I connected to my partner through both experiences and I can only say it made me stronger. Be supportive and know that you partner has a disease. It will be hard on both of you. My greatest gift that my doctor gave me was to keep pushing exercises and nutrition on me and not prescribing drugs for my depression and anxiety. I finally took his word and became active in my recovery.

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"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I need it most." --Anonymous