Hi Josie68, I am going through a very similar situation. Me and my fiance have been together for 21 years and have lived together for 17. He is 40 this year and I am 39 in July. We have 2 lovely boys aged 8 and 3. Our problem started with my lack of libido which has been for about 10 years. (Although he hasn't particularly been the perfect partner either. He finds it very hard to be the family man and has lots of time for himself). He has now got to the point where enough is enough. He has been in contact through a website, with an old school friend who he dated for a short while when he was 17. He has also met her a few times for a drink. She is divorced with 1 child. He assures me she's just a friend who he is has been confiding in regarding our relationship. I believe him as I have seen text messages and emails from the two of them. She seems very much just his friend and tells him to talk to me (something he finds hard to do though), to try and work it out. She hopes we can, but she has also made him realise one or two things about his life. The trouble is he thinks she is very special and these feelings appear to be getting in the way. Obviously I am unhappy about the whole thing. He has told me he wants to move out to sort out his head but I am scared he won't come back. His feelings for me have diminished (not surprisingly I suppose). I have tried to make it up with him but he just turns cold and I suppose I can't blame him for that. I have now talked him in to staying for a while, take things steady for a couple of weeks, give each other space and see what happens (we owe it to ourselves and our kids) and I've promised I will be there waiting whenever (if ever) he needs me. Emotionally or physically. I am so scared of losing him, and I am paranoid about the relationship developing with his friend, although for now it seems on hold.
I am afraid I don't have any advice for you but I thought it may be a comfort to know you are not alone. I hope everything works out for you Josie68. Keep your chin up
