pigpen

I have a 10 year old myself. There IS a transition period here when the child is struggling to become independant but does not want to let go of babyhood.
It is NOT a bad thing to encourage independance. Doing for themselves will make them more self confident and self assured.
However, even the 10 year old needs some coddling now and again.

Of course I do not know the whole story. But when your child is asking for help - do you help or do you just do it for her?

I agree that your man is a little rough with his comments. But perhaps he sees you are having a hard time letting your girl grow up?

Don't give up the night time tuck-ins and extra hugs. Your daughter will still need those. Yeah - even as an adult it is awfully ncie to be tucked in.

But you both might benefit from playing games to encourage her independance and begin to take the first steps away from you. Its ok to help when she needs it. It is also OK to suggest she does read instructions for her self.

When my son is asking me how to do something - I say "hmm...that is usually on the box. Why dont you see if you can find it. If you can't let me know and we can read the instructions together."

In this way he has direction about what to do - but he also can take a step towards self sufficiency. That IS the goal of parenthood after all.

Why not compromize? You still tuck her in AND encourage her to do more for herself. I bet your man will lighten up when he sees you and your daugher are making a transition into her teenhood together.