Re: I need a 3rd party perspective please.
Wow, that is all I can say. It is incredibly hard to leave a faith that you have held that strong with your wife and family and just drop it. That has got to have a terrible impact on your life. She sees you as going to hell for this, how can she react any other way. She wants to save you from yourself. I understand. Believe me, I understand I am catholic going to convert the judaism. It works for my hubby because he is jewish. If it was the other way around and I was becoming catholic our marriage would fall apart without an intervention. I really think a non-judgemental spiritual guide (one that is not in your faith and has no intention of trying to convert you to their religions is a place I would start looking for a little help)
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"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I need it most." --Anonymous 
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