Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

confusedinTX · 05-08-2008, 10:30 PM

I guess the short version is my husband and I went through a really bad time of it and 2 years later there are still issues that keep coming up. He says I have no right to be so upset. He said that at the time off and on. I guess I would like to see if I am overreacting or if I am justified in my feelings. I would love to hear from men especially.
Things started with him deciding he didn't know if he wanted to be married. After informing me of this he started acting out for a lack of a better way to put it. He was on yahoo personals and adultfriendfinder but claimed he did that to see if I was checking on him..... He got all into porn. I didn't have an issue with it every once in awhile but it became a all the time thing with interactive stuff and paying for it. Added to this he decided to hook up with a friend that was a regular VIP at a strip club and he started going at least once a week and lying about it. I found out because of the bankaccount and recites and such. I had gone with him in the past and knew what kind of place it was. He was not just going and getting a beer but lapdances were a must because "the other guys were getting them". I saw a striper insist he touch her butt in front of me so I can only imagine what might have been going on during all this. All this stuff had me upset and wanting to call it quits but he had a way of making it my faulr and in some ways I felt it was and more then anything I wanted to fix our marriage because I love him. Anyhow things came to a head when I found out he had created a gold membership on adultfriendfinder.com. Bad enough. But what made it worse was he was saying he was single and looking for a relationship but open to casual sex too. I lost it and he said he would quit the pron and the strip clubs. Since then he has broken both those promises though one of the 2 strip club things was a bachlor thing in Vegas. Anyhow after all this stuff and really the lying I have trust issues with him. He would say he was sorry about the stuff but would tell me I was overreacting or in the case of the strip clubs he was sorry for spending the money but not for going. Sometimes he is sorry for it all but it's like which story do I believbe? I guess I just want to know if you all think it is not a big deal or what. I am tired of his opinion that it is not that bad and doubting my feelings about it. Just want honest opinions that strangers can only give.

05-08-2008, 10:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
confusedinTX Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 23	Need opinions I guess the short version is my husband and I went through a really bad time of it and 2 years later there are still issues that keep coming up. He says I have no right to be so upset. He said that at the time off and on. I guess I would like to see if I am overreacting or if I am justified in my feelings. I would love to hear from men especially. Things started with him deciding he didn't know if he wanted to be married. After informing me of this he started acting out for a lack of a better way to put it. He was on yahoo personals and adultfriendfinder but claimed he did that to see if I was checking on him..... He got all into porn. I didn't have an issue with it every once in awhile but it became a all the time thing with interactive stuff and paying for it. Added to this he decided to hook up with a friend that was a regular VIP at a strip club and he started going at least once a week and lying about it. I found out because of the bankaccount and recites and such. I had gone with him in the past and knew what kind of place it was. He was not just going and getting a beer but lapdances were a must because "the other guys were getting them". I saw a striper insist he touch her butt in front of me so I can only imagine what might have been going on during all this. All this stuff had me upset and wanting to call it quits but he had a way of making it my faulr and in some ways I felt it was and more then anything I wanted to fix our marriage because I love him. Anyhow things came to a head when I found out he had created a gold membership on adultfriendfinder.com. Bad enough. But what made it worse was he was saying he was single and looking for a relationship but open to casual sex too. I lost it and he said he would quit the pron and the strip clubs. Since then he has broken both those promises though one of the 2 strip club things was a bachlor thing in Vegas. Anyhow after all this stuff and really the lying I have trust issues with him. He would say he was sorry about the stuff but would tell me I was overreacting or in the case of the strip clubs he was sorry for spending the money but not for going. Sometimes he is sorry for it all but it's like which story do I believbe? I guess I just want to know if you all think it is not a big deal or what. I am tired of his opinion that it is not that bad and doubting my feelings about it. Just want honest opinions that strangers can only give.