loud_rocker

First I should explain that I'm very sick and am on disability with a auto immune disease that has caused me to lose one of my lungs and has caused sever small fiber neuropathy and degeneration of me spine. This has put a lot of stress on my wife as a care taker watching me in so much pain and not being able to do any about it and worried about me dying. So My wife is going to counseling to deal with this as well as issues with her parents and issues in our marriage.

Being in so much pain and also the side effect of the medicine have taken away my sexual desires. My wife understands that, this counselor made a suggestion to my wife as one way to deal with this is to take on a lover. I was horrified our marriage was in a state that if some man had started paying attentioni to her that this could of happened.

My wife and worked out a lot of stuff and I have been trying to be a better husband despite being sick and she has said that she has really seen me trying and thing have bee going really well until her last session yesterday. Where she told my wife that I a behavior addiction because I like to spend a lot of time on the computer and video games. Of course I took issue this and explained that see is only seeing a very small section of a picture and only from my wife's point of view, and my wife is upset at me now because I refuse to admit I'm an addict and I need to get treatment as an addict. I play video games because it takes my mind of the pain and its a distraction. Wife has always resented the computer because in the early years of our my marriage I would always go play on it to get a away from ranting so she still hate them because of that.

Is is it ethical for this counselor to offer a lover as an option for my wife and then to make a diagnosis of my behavior to my wife causing more conflict with us?